This is the year of the wedding for the Haag family. My brother, my oldest cousin and I (that's three of the four grandchildren on that side) are preparing for nuptial bliss.
My brother starts the trend this weekend. I'm excited for him, and I adore my soon to be sister-in-law. As we've done all the preparations, it also made me realize how important it is to have faith to lean on at this time. The whole idea of marriage is saying there is something bigger than you now. That might just be the relationship, or for people of faith, it would be God. Even though I haven't experienced marriage myself, that would be my thought for them: when life gets tough, remember you're not in this for yourself, but for God and each other.
Now, I turn to you -- what is your advice to those of us preparing for marriage?
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5 comments:
Diane: Please never think or use the big D word in your relationship. If you never entertain it as even a possibility as the solution for your problems, you and your husband will work through anything. (qualify: only in one instance is Divorce needed: physical abuse) You, your husband and God can solve anything that will arise in your marriage. Good luck and God Bless you both. Marriage is wonderful. I have been enjoying it for 53 years.
Everyone wishes you the best in your marriage, and surely you desire this also. Hopefully the two of you are thinking maturely; it's good to "fall" deeply in love...but there's no place for infatuation when makinging this serious committment. You must not "stumble" into marriage. A few things you need to take-to-heart now, and rembember for the rest of your lives:
LOVE. Obviously. Let it be real. Accept it from your mate and embrace it within yourself. You need true love, so nurture it. Let it grow. You also need to like each other, but don't forget that there will be times when you may not. Your love for one another needs to be strong to see you through difficult times.
LUCK. Forget it. You've been lucky enough to find each other. Marriage
has so many aspects (family dreams, careers, responsibilities)that you can't count on good luck to make it be happy, strong, and lasting. That's not a plan. Also don't blame bad luck when you have problems. It's called life.
LABOR. To make your marriage work you've got to work at it. Learn and apply the Golden Rule (Matthew 7:12). You will both be rewarded if your first consideration in all things is for your spouse. You can't be lazy about your life as a couple; be a good in-law, dream together, plan and provide for your household letting your career goals be "family friendly", and carry your share (plus some) of responsibilities.
The LORD. Make him a partner in your marriage now (before you say "I do") and always. Discover how this can give your relationship with each other sustenance, strength, security, and stability. God ordained marriage, making the two of you be one. Lead and follow each other closely as you grow spiritually so that as a team neither of you should run ahead or fall behind. Talk to each other, pray together, study, and share the joy of love which is from God.
Blessings,
Boudreaux
I submitted a comment 4/12/08 regarding advice to those planning to be married. I left out item 2 which comes between LOVE and LUCK. it is LAUGHTER:
LAUGHTER. Can't live without it, or at least why would you want to? Essential to a "happy" mariage. You will need it to dry the occasional tear, as it reminds us to not take things too seriously. Laugh at yourself and with your lifemate.
Rose - thanks for the encouragement. I'm truly blessed by all those people who keep telling me how wonderful marriage is.
Bodreaux, sorry it took so long to post your comments - I have to approve them and I was away from the computer for the weekend's festivities. Your advice is wonderful though -- we will certainly take it to heart.
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