Monday, January 07, 2008

Praying together and staying together?

My fiance and I are nearly cleared to be married now. We spent Friday evenings and all day Saturday at the marriage prep weekend sponsored (and required) by our church.

It was a good weekend full of all that relationship conversation that usually causes men to break out in hives, but my guy was good. We had some honest conversations and realized we were were in agreement on all the important things (we will probably still have "discussions" about the air conditioning).

One thing that the counselors and lay people brought up was the importance of prayer in a marriage. We go to church together, bless our food, and - I trust - pray for each other in private, but we don't necessarily pray aloud together. One longtime married couple, who shared their story with the group, said their whole relationship changed when they started praying together - they were more honest and better able to tackle the issues of the day.

So I'm asking y'all for your experience. Do you pray with your spouse? What does that look like? And how does it affect your relationship?


John said...


Just get on your knees and pray with and for him as you would alone. Don't worry about how it sounds or it being "right" right off the bat. Sure, get advice from some older folks you respect and know pray together, but don't set the pattern. Let God do it.

Y'all just need to know that it will be akward at first, but don't give up. Those older folks will probaby tell you it felt that way, at first, to them, too.

But, be ready! My wife and I started praying together some years back, and Satan attacked our marriage BIG TIME! When the man takes the lead and the woman lets him be the spiritual head (as long as he's seeking God's will and truth), Satan knows he is in for a BIGTIME battle! He will begin to try to divide you on the stupidest and pettiest things. Just know it's his work and don't give in to the lies he'll try to tell.

May God bless you both in this endeavor. I pray the Lord Jesus Christ leads you both to the fulfillment of His perfect will in your lives.

Love Jesus Christ; seek, find and hold dearly to the Truth; and love each other. :)

Diane Haag said...

Thanks so much for your advice, and your warning. I think the Catholic in me wants rules and a form, but you're right - this is about your personal gratitude and concerns, which can't always be scripted.

John said...

I was raised RC and still battle its "effects" on my life, so I understand, Dianne. I have since learned to pray my own prayer, not a scripted one. I don't see anywhere that the Lord say to "pray exactly like this". He just gave us a pattern. The good RC "fathers", I guess, decided we needed blueprints, though. ;)

Since God knows our specific needs, I think the reason for vocalizing those needs is to reinforce to us our desperate need of our Savior, Jesus Christ. To actually hear our concerns and desires does something to us, I think.

In fact, I've come to believe that while my praise and worship of Him is for HIS benefit (and I do it because He is worthy), I am reminded of just how "wonderful, holy, righteous, and loving" He is as I am saying it. He doesn't need to know those things, because He IS and has always been those things. I'M the one who needs to be reminded of them on a regular basis. As I am vocalizing them to Him, I am. Plus, if someone hears me saying those things, that makes it even more wonderful for Him and maybe that person will come to know Him in those ways!!

But, I digress..... :)

May the God of eternity, Jesus Christ, bless you and your future husband!

Kathryn Usher said...

Words are not the only way to pray.

In our twenty plus years of marriage, my husband and I have created beauty as a way of honoring the Mother (and Father) God in our lives.

Painting, sewing, dancing, writing, taking photographs are just a few of the ways we've found to connect to the Great Spirit of Life.