Let the weddings begin

This is the year of the wedding for the Haag family. My brother, my oldest cousin and I (that's three of the four grandchildren on that side) are preparing for nuptial bliss.

My brother starts the trend this weekend. I'm excited for him, and I adore my soon to be sister-in-law. As we've done all the preparations, it also made me realize how important it is to have faith to lean on at this time. The whole idea of marriage is saying there is something bigger than you now. That might just be the relationship, or for people of faith, it would be God. Even though I haven't experienced marriage myself, that would be my thought for them: when life gets tough, remember you're not in this for yourself, but for God and each other.

Now, I turn to you -- what is your advice to those of us preparing for marriage?

What's so bad about marriage?

Slate published an astonishing piece on the decline of marrriage, increase in out-of-wedlock births and its affects on society. I've wanted to write a story about this for years, but I can't seem to wrap my head around it.

So I turn to you. Why is this happening? Is it a lack of faith? A too lenient society? The prevalence of sex in the media?

Praying together and staying together?

My fiance and I are nearly cleared to be married now. We spent Friday evenings and all day Saturday at the marriage prep weekend sponsored (and required) by our church.

It was a good weekend full of all that relationship conversation that usually causes men to break out in hives, but my guy was good. We had some honest conversations and realized we were were in agreement on all the important things (we will probably still have "discussions" about the air conditioning).

One thing that the counselors and lay people brought up was the importance of prayer in a marriage. We go to church together, bless our food, and - I trust - pray for each other in private, but we don't necessarily pray aloud together. One longtime married couple, who shared their story with the group, said their whole relationship changed when they started praying together - they were more honest and better able to tackle the issues of the day.

So I'm asking y'all for your experience. Do you pray with your spouse? What does that look like? And how does it affect your relationship?

On the second day of Christmas...

I return to work, refreshed from a weekend with my family in Memphis. This year was the new and improved version of the family gathering.

My brother and I are both getting married next year and we brought our fiances home for a little bit of Haag family tradition. We ate way too many cookies, spent time gathered in the kitchen while Mom cooked, heard new stories of Christmases past and got out for a little sightseeing.

Christmas celebrates new life, and having two new people at the dinner table (and to help do dishes!) made this year's holiday even more special.

For the next few days of this holiday season, I hope you all are able to enjoy many blessings and a sense of renewal as we roll into 2008!

Providence House making families

We all know about Providence House's work in restoring homeless families. Well, they also help create families.

A few weeks ago, the transitional homeless shelter received a phone call from Kelly, a mother in Delhi who had nowhere to go with her baby and boyfriend. Only married couples are admitted at Providence House, but the shelter still arranged to take in Kelly and the baby while James, the boyfriend, went to the Shreveport-Bossier Rescue Mission.

The situation apparently made them think and they decided to get married. The shelter staff pulled together all the pieces: dress, minister and cake and the wedding was held in the Providence House living room June 22.

Now, Kelly, James and their six month old are working their way to independence through the Providence House program.